When Someone You Love Becomes A Memory; Ami Unger Shilton

We stood for each other at our weddings, but really we stood for so much more during those years since we met as five year olds at a birthday party.

As best friends often do, I fell for you head over heels. We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun, as they say. All because I spilled grape juice on your white party dress, remember party dresses?

We inspired each other, too young to know it at the time. I owe you my first fall on the ice and the desire for many more ahead. You learned that a city girl could pee outdoors, carry a “trudie stick” and like it.

Life is fickle, sometimes cruel, surprising and some kind of wonderful. As we shared everything, giggling behind school books and later telephone lines, I never thought that I would find a time when we weren’t there for each other.

As adults we drifted in and out of our lives. Trying to find where we fit, if at all, in the chaos that comes with marriage, kids and careers.  We watched our families change as our parents did and then finally leave us, not knowing how quickly we might leave ours.

After almost three years, I’m finally ready to allow the tears roll down my face for you, Ami. Mostly, I am ready to embrace the memories that could only come from almost 50 years of who you are. I love you still and thank you for entering my world with your party dress and big heart.

A Woman of Valor; Yesterday Brings Today

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“She was a Survivor” I heard the Rabbi say.  It hung in the air as I sat there on the wooden pew with my family around me - my cousins to my right, their mother, Mania Feldman in the simple, yet beautiful casket, in front of us.

“A woman of valor” he went on, referencing a passage in the prayer book. As I sat there with his words surrounding me, I realized that he wasn’t just telling us about the yesterday of Mania Feldman, mother to Cyl, Renee and Nancy. He was speaking of my mother, the mothers of my other cousins in the room, all mothers to the children of holocaust survivors.

These women – “The Aunts” as I called them – these women sought each other out after concentration camp. Each one with their own story of horror, of survival, of valor. They found each other, bonded together and scratched out lives that only excepted today and tomorrow. They survived.

I heard stories of my Aunt Mania that told of her strength, her love, her unapologetic frankness, and of course her stubbornness. I thought of that stubbornness for a while.  As each one has passed (only my Aunt Toni is left) we’ve told stories that embraced their stubbornness. Never ashamed to admit that in the all too many eulogies, when most offer only glowing praises and kind memories, we speak of these women of valor and their stubborn streak with pride. Because that is who they were, and how they were.

When the Germans came to take them away, Mania did not run or turn away, she went. “Mania went off with them like she was going to a dance” I can still hear my aunt Toni say with a small laugh.  I can’t imagine it any other way.

There are just so many stories to tell, so many I heard on this day. Each one made me reflect on the mettle that these women were made of and how my Aunt Mania represented them. Her actions weren’t rude, they were honest, they spoke of love for us and for life – mostly they spoke of what she had been through and what she wanted for today.

The day after my oldest brother was born, my mother left him in the hospital and walked to the next town to be present at Mania and my Uncle Joe’s wedding.  Wide eyed I asked, “You walked?” thinking how I could barely stand at that same 24 hour interval after my first child.  “You walked”, I repeated. “Yes, in the snow. I was terrified”. Terrified that they left the first Jewish baby born at the end of the war in a German hospital. She was not terrified for herself, because she had been through much worse; she was frightened for the future that was born less than 24 hours prior.

I asked why she did it. Did my father force her to attend his sister’s ceremony? She looked at me with sadness and strength simultaneously and replied, “It wasn’t just your daddy’s sister. It was my sister.” Then her voice got a stubborn edge to it as she told me “We didn’t have anyone else but we had each other and we weren’t going to let that go”.

It was their stubbornness that took them from hell, carried them through life, until their day in heaven.  And Mania, was the leader of the pack, as if she was going off to a dance.

Allow your child, and yourself, to put things within reach.

The Greatest Game on Earth (Financial Foundations Book 1)

"Just as in the natural world, in the money world, there are many pieces that are all an important part of the whole. No one way is better than another, they are all vital to the health of the system."

The author, Tammy Johnston, does an excellent of taking us on the path of a strong financial future. Through the "Financial Foundations Summer Camp" we learn how our world is interconnected in so many ways, including our financial world. Further, lessons focus on balance to maintain health and happiness as we grow and improve.
As we learn new things Janice Blaine's illustrations take you through scenes of intelligent spider monkeys living in the trees and large herds of zebras as an example of groups working together to accomplish goals.
With tips and questions, Johnston makes sure you are not only equipt to play the game, but that you got game!

Be Outrageous With Your Descendants

I found this while clearing paperwork and other items from my parents home. I've no idea who wrote it, who sent it or why they kept it. Regardless, I was happy to find it and share it.

Why Older Mothers Have a Tough Time 

 If we are concerned,  we are over protective;
   if we are unconcerned, we are neglectful.
If we nurture generously, we are smoldering;
   if we nurture less, we are withholding.
If we are successful, we are intimidating;
   if we are unsuccessful, we are poor role models.
If we are available, we encourage dependency;
   if we are busy ourselves, we are detached.
If we offer advice, we are controlling;
   if we refrain, we are disinterested.
If we phone, write or visit often, we ae pests;
   if we don't, we are thought uncaring.
If we give or loan money, we engender resentment;
   if we don't give or loan money, we are cheap.
If we help with their tasks, we are drudges,
   if we don't, we are considered lazy.
If we lover our husbands or lothers best, we put them first;
   if we love descendants first, we have no life of our own.
If we put ourselves last, we have no self love;
   if we put ourselves first, we are narcissistic.
If we hide our needs, we are martyrs;
   if we reveal our needs, we are demanding.
If we provide for our old age, we are selfish;
   if we don't provide, we are burdens.
If we pitch in, we question their competency;
   if we don't pitch in, they question our competency.

If all of this is true, we might as well
  do what we wish and do it OUTRAGEOUSLY!

    -- Author Unknown

Of Puppy-dogs' Tails

Snips and Snails and Puppy-dog's Tails

They say that Man plans and G-d laughs. Oh, did she ever!


I planned and planned. I spent my whole life planning to be a Mom.

While other little girls played house, I mapped out my family. There would be 4 children; the first 2 would be two to three years apart (only one in diapers at a time, thank you very much!). Later, when the perfect ones had started school and my house was a little calmer during the day, I would birth the next set, also 2 - 3 years apart. I never even noticed the chuckle from above as I drew our perfect family in 2nd grade art class.

Being a child of the sixties meant that change was all around me. Stay-at-home-moms weren't de rigueur any more.  Women were expected to do it all. You know, bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget you're a man (with apologies to Peggy Lee and Enjoi). I also saw that amongst the working Moms were the divorced Moms - all of which were expected to be all things to all people. This is when I decided I would be Boss Mom. I didn't know what I would do, but I would have my own business, make my own schedule and be able to juggle it all with ease. I'm sure the day's thunder was to drown out the laughter from over head.

Time passed, I got married, I had my first child, I started my own business. All in all, I was pretty happy in life. The girls were 3 and a half years apart and the plan was in place. Of course girls have their own ups and downs, they can be like kittens clawing at each other one minute then the very next curled up together and inseparable the next.

As more time passed, the plan started to fray at the edges a bit. The kids were all in school and the marriage ... well, you know... things change. 9 years and one husband after the last birth, little Bamm-bamm came into our lives.  And the laughter turned into a roar.

Episode 1: How to Lose a Sleeping Baby

Our little bundle of boy could not crawl yet, but it is amazing how far they can get without crawling.  You put them down at one end of the crib and when you come back, they have squirmed their way to the opposite end, waking up with a gentle cooing and giggling at their happy toes.   At least that was the plan. 

I entered the brightly painted nursery, fully expecting to find my little baby boy in his crib on the mattress, under the watchful eye of the musical mobile's farm animals.

Instead, I found an empty crib. No big yawn and blinking eyes greeted me while I stood there dumb founded, wondering if I had left him in the playpen downstairs. Am I that forgetful? Yes, I concurred and ran downstairs. Still no baby!

Could I have left him at the school with the other children? After all, sleep deprivation is a nasty animal. No, not possible - I wasn't even at the school this morning. The once perfect children had boarded the school bus hours earlier (I hoped).

Dashing back to the room, I saw the mattress move, ever so slightly, but it moved - I was sure of it. Lifting the mattress up for the first of many times I found Bamm-bamm. He had unbelievably lifted the mattress and crawled under it creating his own fortress of nap. My tears of relief and joy were met by his gassy expulsion and laughter, also the first of many times.

This was not the plan. Did I hear someone laughing?

Cys Bronner's resume holds the various and extremely impressive titles of  Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Author, Speaker,  Entrepreneur, Social Network/Community Builder, and lover of all things cycling. When she is not trying to save her sanity by thinking 3 steps ahead of her kids or the rest of the family, you'll find her with her 2 dogs and a cup of coffee. Come to think of it, you'll always find her with a cup of coffee.

Ain't it the truth?!

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.” ~Doug Larson

Stay On Track

"The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want now"
  - Zig Ziglar

Make Kitchen Magic With Only The Basics on Hand

You know your kitchen should have basic staples on hand; things like flour, eggs, milk, etc. But did you know that beer should be a staple too?

Keep a bottle in your cupboard at all times for last minute marinades or quick bread making.

My favorite quick prep for pork is beer, rosemary and on occasion an addition of basil. This works for other meats as well. Want something without fresh herbs? Easy - Beer and dijon mustard!

"But what if I fail?"

"But what if I fail?"

You will.
The answer to the what if question is, you will.
A better question might be, "after I fail, what then?"
Well, if you've chosen well, after you fail you will be one step closer to succeeding, you will be wiser and stronger and you almost certainly will be more respected by all of those that are afraid to try.
-- Seth Godin
Click to see this and more from Seth Godin

Roasted Daikon Radishes Made Easy

We had a bit of a busy kitchen day over at our house. I've more than a few items to share with you but thought I'd start with the easiest, Roasted Dakion Radishes.

I'm a sucker for fresh from the garden items. When there isn't any of that, I tend to commit to finding the freshest in season items at the market. I was stunned to see 3 arm length Daikon radishes for $.99 and knew I had to do something with them.

All I did was slice up the daikon radishes, red pepper and added baby carrots. I drizzled olive oil with a bit of chopped garlic.

Not only was this nummy dish a "set it and forget it" item, but I was thrilled to see the little stars in each radish slice!

This winter dinner item fit perfectly into my 8 week challenge as well as my daughter's move from being a vegetarian to vegan.

Be Safe This New Years - Free Tipsy Tow and Metro

By Hidden Los Angeles

Just to clarify with the latest info for tonight:

AAA SERVICE: Tipsy Tow services are offered until 6am (up to seven miles – whether you’re an AAA member or not) if you call 1-800-400-4AAA and tell the operator, “I need a Tipsy Tow.” A truck will be dispatched, and will tow both the driver and their car.

METRO FARE: no fare will be charged on Metro Rail and Bus lines from 9pm tonight until 2am tomorrow. Those boarding buses and trains after 2am will need to TAP to ride. (Fare is $1.50 per direction per line or $5.00 for a Day Pass.)

METRO SCHEDULE:
New Year’s Eve (Dec. 31-Jan. 1): Metro will provide all-night service on the Red, Purple, Blue, Expo, Green, Gold, Orange and Silver Lines in addition to bus lines which normally operate late-night owl service. Trains will run at 20-minute intervals from 1 a.m. to 3 a.m.
New Year’s Day: Metro buses and trains will follow Sunday/Holiday schedules.

The only exception is the Metro Gold Line, which will run longer trains at more frequent intervals between Union Station and Pasadena for those going to the Tournament of Roses Parade and the Rose Bowl game.

Be safe out there, peeps! :)

Our microwave has 2 uses:

1) a perch for the cat
2) a place to keep food safe from the dogs til we serve it.

From A Plastic Bottle Let There Be Light!

In the Philippines, a brilliant and simple light source is being installed into low-income homes. I could see this making a big impact all over the world.

See Liter of Light video 

Tracking for success and sometimes amusement

Funniest/oddest search words that took people to my Blogging for a Cure blog this week: "yogurt expiration dates"

Do you track your top searches?

Beating the Heat and The Budget

It's been a while since I've had 8 or 9 people living in my house at once, in fact we are down to just 3 at this moment (it could change), but one thing has stayed constant; Summer is hot and the budget is tight.

I've managed to keep a good grip on the budget tiger by becoming a big fan of our market's Manager Specials. This also means that my freezer is kept full of items from the specials and my meals can be just a little more odd... no, make that more creative than your standard Betty Crocker family dinning fare.

Yesterday I visited the freezer to give my daughter the benefits of my latest Manager Special harvest, mozzarella and other various cheeses (I don't do the cow). While there I noticed my stock pile of Naan and brought some in.

Today's summer temperature just begged for a zero cooking tolerance. Alas, the family begged to be fed. Then it hit me..

Ladies and Gentleman, I present to you :: drumroll :: Hot Day Pizza!

In just minutes, I had sliced the last two Roma tomatoes in the fridge and lay them on the Jalapeno Goat Cheese topped Naan. The added bonus to this all was that "the Boys" were as impressed with the shared meal as I was with the ease.

Did you notice the mason jar glass of green goodness? More Manager Special ingredients; 1 marked down bag of salad greens, 2 red apples, 6 ice cubes in a blender. The slight splurge was also from a previous Manager's Special purchase. I added a splash of Zeta Olive Oil with Lemon.

All in all, a happy mom. One who has more time to jump on the bike, I might add ;)

Everything Old is New Again (at least to me).

I am so glad juicing has found it's way into America's kitchens.

Back in the day, I would come home from work and too tired to cook, or just not interested in cooking for one, I would throw any veggie within reach into the blender with ice (I have no idea why I used ice instead of water).

On a few occasions I might use fruit and yogurt. Those were the throw-caution-to-the-wind days since it took more effort to clean the blender afterwards. As a single woman living in San Francisco, it was more likely that you would find me leaning over the sink at midnight, rushing to finish the yogurt before it's expiration date.

After a while, I traded in my whole-food-wheat-grass-vegetarian life for one that was just a little more acceptable to my new life of being evolving wanna be gourmet chef as the perfect wife slash mommy. During my attempt to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan with all the ease of Martha Stewart, I hid my pregnancy cravings of large quantity of lettuce and dined on a steady supply of Burrito Supremes. While my then husband would make his pilgrimage to Taco Bell, I would greedily consume complete heads of lettuce in secret.

Confessing my shame to my OB/Gyn he pointed out that your body often craves what it needs. I needed more Chlorophyll which I was getting from my leafy greens and the beans assisted in my body's desire for protein. All good things that the baby would like too.

Fast forward to my recent years which include a new and improved husband,  I've returned to my old ways. The meatatarians in from life might ridicule me just a tad but over all they're jiggy with it, as long as I still throw some baby backed ribs their way every now and then.

Last week I was watching one of "those" documentaries Fat Sick & Nearly Dead and my husband pulled up a seat to watch. This was monumental. On most occasions, he'll stand in the doorway, heckle some or pause slightly as he walks through the room on his way to the kitchen - pausing only for that little wink at his wife.

As I said, he pulled up a seat. He sat forward and watched, really watched. He stayed. the. entire. time.

The next day, he watched Forks Over Knives with me and told over people about it!

Today, I didn't feel like getting up early and making our traditional family breakfast that could feed a few farm hands.  On his suggestion, I threw some vegetables into the blender for a long lost feeling of nostalgia. Why, oh why, did I ever give this up? I wondered out loud.

Then I heard it, those magic words, "You know honey, I bet you'd like a juicer". After that, he took me to the Farmer's Market where I bought goat cheese with glee (and not one snicker). I love this man.

Which Are You?

Grandmother Says... Carrots, Eggs, or Coffee; "Which are you?"

A young woman went to her grandmother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved a new one arose.

Her grandmother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her granddaughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they got soft.She then asked her to take an egg and break it.

After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The granddaughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma. The granddaughter then asked. "What's the point,grandmother?"

Her grandmother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her granddaughter.

"When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff?

Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

---AUTHOR UNKNOWN

It was a sad day in Mudville

It's no secret that we're a football family.  We have High School football, NFL Football and Fantasy Football all around us. In the off season, we are fundraising for the Athletic Boosters.

But what you might not know is that I am merely an onlooker. After years of raising girls who have moved out, the boys have now become the vocal point of the household while I shake my head in amusement at how wrapped up on can get in a sport.

What I did not know is that I had become a participant. After countless dinners and Sunday brunches where salaries, staffing and play after play had be discussed I had absorbed some of it - and formed opinions.

Being the wife of a die hard Eagles fan it is not always easy. We have ups and downs. This year was more downs then usual. For the rest of you, it can't be hard to imagine what this day in history is like. After 14 years the NFL's "winningnest" coach, Andy Reid, has been fired… with one year left on his contract.

I did not see myself getting getting caught up in this, I also did not see it coming. Why? Because I look at the NFL from a business perspective. Apparently, so does ‪Eagles owner Jeffrey Lurie‬ - the only difference is that he is in the business of winning NOW.

From where I sit Reid had a tremendous record from joining the Eagles in 1999 until this less than stellar year. That has value. Add that to the fact that this year kicked off with a personal devastation of losing his son and that value of 14 years could still be at status quo. maybe. But what really made me feel that we'd see our beloved Andy Reid around for one more year is $15 million. $15 mil is what it would have cost the Eagles to buy out his contract and let him go. Now that has value.

It is possible that in my absorption and interest of the business side of the game I did not realize how little value $15 million might be to Lurie. What is more possible is that as much as he claimed to love and respect his head coach, he valued a winning season far more, at what ever the cost.  He wished him well, he wished him a big win ahead but still he wished him gone. It felt like the end of a marriage.

For me, this Eagles family wife, I wish Andy Reid the dignity of a first wife. He moulded them, shaped them, and at times rode the roller coaster with them. After 14 years, I hope he looks forward to his next chapter as much as I look forward to seeing it.

What's to eat? Go ask Alice.

Just yesterday, I was telling my email partner (you have one of those don't you?) that I come from the Alice Waters (Chez Panisse) practice of seeing what is fresh in your garden or at the fresh market before deciding on your meal plan. Moving to the city and away from my gardens has not been any less inspiring and in fact, like having a whole new playing field to discover. Now I attack the local Ralph's and seek out the bright orange stickers for Manager Specials or enjoy sales at the Japanese Market, weekend Farmer's Market or even Trader's Joe's. Filling my kitchen with specials of the day as I meal plan on the spot.

This method also means that many recipes "evolve" over time based on what one has available… and if you're trying to get something into your football worshipping family that resembles real food sans pretzels and cheese whiz. 

December 30 is generally a Grilled Cheese type winter day no matter where you are, and I had just the stocks for it, kinda. What I had in mind was grilled gouda cheese and Anjou pear on Sourdough.  Instead, my fridge had .98 lb ham that got sliced and layered on the $2.99 a dozen croissants. Gouda was out, I didn't feel like going to the market when I had picked up white american cheese yesterday, all sliced up and ready to go at an affordable $3.99 a pound. Affordable for LA, I might add. Now about that pear, what to do? aha! I had 2 large Fuji Apples on my kitchen desk - perfect.

Slicing the apples thin, I placed those in between the cheese, on top of the ham and set the croissants into the electric skillet.

My son was a bit hesitant about the apple thing going on in his grilled cheese (surprisingly, no one minded the adulteration by adding the ham), but his first bite yielded 16 year old eyes rolling back in his head and nummy sounds. My husband walked out of the kitchen with his plate, took a few steps and came back with a mouth full, and OK symbol of his thumb and forefinger and something about "the apple adding just the right snap".

Touchdown.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.  
  -- W. Somerset Maugham